[ Come to think of it, how did he get here? He was too preoccupied with the, you know, attempt at his life that his surroundings have only just registered. ] Don't say it like I had anything to do with this, asshole ... Who would want to kidnap you? What value do you have?

[ In response to Gintoki's tugging, he tugs back at the cuff in an attempt to pull him into a stand. It's then that the TV flickers on, and the true premise of this fucking thread is finally made known.

Congratulations, newlyweds. Welcome to your new home. There is no escape, so enjoy your peaceful new life.

And that's all it says. ]