PLEASE REPLY I NEED PRACTICE SOB

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

[Inside a comic book store, there is a dark-skinned teenage boy flipping through some of the books. He gets to the end of one, holding it up in front of his face with a look of mixed disappointment and disgust and remarks flippantly:]

Really. This is what the nerds are reading these days? I had expected more from you all. Why, just a decade or so ago these things were actually worth reading!

Not that I read them, of course. I'm not a nerd.

Comments

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

Soooo... if you're not gonna read it, can I take it? [Confused Colin is honestly confused.] It looked interesting to me.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

[Bartimaeus looks askance at the kid.]

What could possibly be interesting about yet another story of a socially inept man in spandex with an unrealistic number of abs who will doubtless get the girl in the end? It's been done before.

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

Just because something's been done doesn't mean it can't be done differently the second time. [Colin picks up the book, casually flipping through it] ... Also I think you might want to think twice before calling Iron Man inept.

He. Kind of slept with three girls in this issue.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

[He rolls his eyes dramatically.] Sorry to tell you this, kid, but it doesn't count if he pays for them all. That only amounts to about half a girl. It's proven math.

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

In what country? [Genuinely curious! This is the first he's heard of it.] I don't think I've heard of your theory before.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's an ancient Roman theory. Proved by a whole bunch of mathematicians back in the day. Very legitimate. [He waves a hand casually like this is common knowledge.]

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

Seriously? That's kind of cool. [Makes a mental note to learn more about it sometime!] I'll go look it up whenever I head back to Seville.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

It's a bit obscure, you might have trouble finding it. [Oh my god this kid is actually buying it. The last time he met someone this naive, he ate him. He can't help but smile.]

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

...... [Hang on. Colin doesn't like the vibes he's getting.]

As in, the theory doesn't exist. Right?

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

Hey, I thought you were supposed to be naive and gullible. You can't just switch on me like that, it's not fair. [In mock anger, he puts his hands on his hips and pouts.]

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

[Pfffft, Colin can't help snorting.] Then you might want to think twice before telling us "naive and gullible" folk a blatant lie.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

To be fair, the "gullible" part usually means you won't catch on.

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

True. Still, if you're not getting this... [And he waves the issue in the air] Then I'm snagging it. It's been on my pull list for a while.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

It's all yours, kid. My job is to find fifty dollars worth of something amazingly interesting, and that just isn't quite cutting it.

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

Yeah? What kind of amazingly interesting're you looking for? Clearly, I don't think you're going to find it in the comic section.

[... It might a bad idea to listen to Colin. His idea of AWESOME and BEST BOOKS EVER are actually. Kind of boring books.]

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

Who knows? I mean, what kind of vague specification is "amazingly interesting," anyway? I'll just have to scrape together some of the more ridiculous books here, since it has to be comics.

[He eyes Colin.] You know of anything like that?

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

You should check the sociology section. There were a couple of books there - like a history of American fast food and how "well-behaved women rarely make history" - that were kind of over-the-top and ridiculous. [grins, pointing his thumb in the direction of said section]

My favorite, though, has to be the one about how television and the internet'll kill all my brain cells.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

I doubt the guy I'm buying these for will get the irony of those. Maybe that last one was onto something.

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

So he's kind of stuffy? And yet you think he'll like comic books? [His brain's trying to compute this and failing.] I'm pretty sure you're better off with Archie or something.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

This wasn't my bright idea, he asked for 'em. [He shrugs.] Stuffy doesn't even begin to cover it. [He glances over at the shelves of Archie comics skeptically, though.]

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

[He goes over and hands one Archie comic book to him.] Then he'll adore this. Seriously. It's like paradise for stuffy people. I'd explain it, but I'm still trying to figure it out.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

You know, you aren't half-bad. Unless you're messing with me just so I'll screw up.

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

Why would I mess with you? [This thought has genuinely never crossed his mind.] I'm just telling you that stuffy people like Archie. And magazines about wine-tastings.

... If they're American, that is. The stuffy Arabs I live with settle for magazines on fruit juice instead.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

Why would you mess with me? You can't honestly tell me you've never given someone the wrong information just for the hell of it. [Why, that's practically Bartimaeus' entire life.]

I refuse to believe anyone would produce a magazine on fruit juice, let alone read and enjoy it.

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

Actually.... I can. [eyebrow raise]

You're kidding, right? Fruit juice is ridiculously huge in Seville. I'm hard-pressed to find a restaurant that doesn't serve it. [Trust Colin to remember the stuff that doesn't really matter.]

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

Impossible. [Looks at him in hard disbelief.]

Just because a few restaurants sell it doesn't make it interesting. It's juice, for crying out loud.

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

[Okay, the thought of being called a liar is more pressing than insisting on juice being delicious. Colin can't help making faces as he folds his arms.]

You can't believe that I'd never lie to people? That's gotta be the most ridiculous thing I've heard.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

It's been my experience that everybody lies, whether they're morally opposed to it or not. It's just a fact of life. [He shrugs.]

[truthbreaker.livejournal.com]

Not everybody. I've met a few people in my day who haven't told a single lie... and I kind of consider myself to be one of them.

[There's not much that offends Colin. One could accuse him of being anything but a liar and he'd probably be okay with it!]

[birdthright.livejournal.com]

Comic books of no era are worth reading.

[puredjinnius.livejournal.com]

You've read them all, have you? [Eyebrow raise.]