youlittleshit | (no subject)

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(no subject)

[ TYPICAL AMERICAN CITY

With typical american people,

and typical american . . . everything else.

A long road, lots of trees, sea, women in bikinis, teenagers being retarded, SHIT LIKE THAT. One of the teenager there -- not really different from the rest of the other ones, there, really -- was sitting on the table of a cafe, looking annoyingly at the clock on his wrist, like he was waiting for someone that just didn't want to arrive.

2 minutes later he stood up to get his wallet and open it -- just to notice that he was completely broke at the moment. ]

Damn.

[ He looked around seeing if escaping could've been possible in that moment. Just to see the waiter some meters away from the door talking to someone. ]

This ain't lookin' good.

[ So hoping he didn't have to use that to get out of there. ]

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[ he's sitting on a table nearby

drinkin' his water and people-watching.

God, why is it so hot today? ]

Hey, dude.

[ and he looks up; huh. a strange guy that he doesn't know. he looks kind of intimidating... but he sounds okay enough? ]

Uh....

Hi?

Alright, listen to this.

I'm in troubles, big troubles and you are gonna help me. I need to get out of here but I just noticed I'm broke and can't afford to pay for what I ate and in no way I'm staying here cleaning the dishes or something.

So the deal is: you'll pay my bill and I won't break your face. . .

What do you think? Fair, no?

[ OK. THINKING.

he just got accosted by a homeless guy.

WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO ]

--Ahaha, I'm- sorry?

I don't think I have enough money for that...

Think that's a problem of mine? If ya've got enough money to pay my stuff, it's all good.

But I didn't eat it. You did.

. . .No shit, Sherlock.

C'mon, man, I'm trying to be nice here. You wouldn't want to see me angry.

[Oz is just watching not too far away at another table, mostly minding his own business, but it's easy to notice the anxious looking kid hovering around that guy over there. It might be rude to stare, but it seems pretty obvious he's about to hassle him. Kind of gutsy to try anything with so many people around. Interesting.]

]

What are you lookin' at?

[His first response would have been to shrug and look away, but if distracting him meant sparing the other guy from getting robbed or whatever else he had in mind, it was probably Oz's obligation to say something. He talks slowly, in his usual monotone, only with a slightly raised eyebrow for emphasis.]

I didn't mean to stare. There's not much else going on right now, and I was kind of curious where you were going with that.

Fancy that you're sayin' it like it's any of your problems.

Fuck off.

[At least he wasn't a hard one to read. Oz was a low-conflict type of guy, really, but somehow he could always spot them. He didn't stand up to leave or break his gaze, only sat there impassively sizing him up. Seemed like he was just a human too, which was a nice change.]

Don't let me interrupt.

You better.

Well, lookie here--

Hey, waiter, I think you got some suspicious behavoir goin' on there. I'm a nice guy --a good, contributing citizen of society-- and I kinda feel it my duty to report it --you know, justice and peace and singing unicorns and all that-- so you might wanna check it out.

No, don't worry. Just tell your boys to get a huuuuge magnet. You know, the kind that rip the pacemakers outta old people -? I think that should do the trick.

Dammit. . . !

Chill. I'm not gonna cuff you. Off-duty. [ twirls his pastaaaaa ]

Those shitbags never gave me anything extra, so why should I give them even a second of my lunchbreak when I can enjoy this delicious pasta?

[ ... ]

The manager might say differently, though. Go give back what you took like a big man.

Have I ever told you how annoyin' is the way you speak?

We ain't friends, stop actin' like we are.

_{[ guess who's awkwardly sitting somewhere in there, clutching to a pocket vocabulary?

IT IS

A

TOURIST

HOLY SHIT

he's drinking some orange juice even though he wanted some lemonade because the waiter just wouldn't understand what he was saying. what, english is difficult, ok? so he's not only sort of lost, he's also slightly pissed off but mainly woeing. HAVE FUN. ]}

Woah dude, what did you just do?!

_{[ he doesn't even hear him approaching until SUDDENLY THE TABLE IS FLYING OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS

SCREAMS and blabbers something in japanese, before calming down enough to remember that NO YOU ARE NOT IN JAPAN THOSE BAKA GAIJINS DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!! ]}

THAT---- NOT ME!! I am... drinking...!!!

_{[ PANIC OH GOD looks for his drink as a proof but whoops it's sort of spilled all over the floor
and the glass is sort of broken too, man who's gonna pay for tha---
....... yes WHO IS ]}

Y-YOU'RE ONE WHO TOUCH TABRE!!

. . .What?

Sorry for the troubles, pal. Hope you'll understand!

_{[ WAIT NO WHERE IS HE GOING AAAAA RUSHES TO GRAB HIS WRIST completely ignoring the waiter that went to check ]}

HEY HEY HEYHEYHEYHEY W-WHY YOU DID THAT?!

_{[ sort of waves the hand holding the vocabulary around. what was that word again... ]}

ASSHORE!!

_{[ ......... then he realizes what he said and oh

oh whoops ]}

Ah--?

[ ]

What didya say...?

[ ]

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[hey sup going to fail]

SORRY FRIDGE CAN YOU RETYPE THAT

YOU SUCK

NO U

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THIS COMMENT WILL OFFEND PEOPLE FROM GLORIOUS NIPPON

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